Every time a new year rolls around, I feel this sneaky temptation whispering, “It is time to re-invent yourself once more. It is time to become MORE…more than what you are…more educated, more fit, more involved, more disciplined, more spiritual, more <insert whatever> than ever before.” I have the type of personality that easily embraces this way of thinking. I love to set up goals and knock them down. A checklist is my constant companion. Competition and comparison are seemingly woven into my DNA, and satisfaction is ever on the horizon. “Maybe I will find it after this tweak, transformation, or triumph…” I coax myself. Then, I keep right on pursing the pixilated but ever present picture of who I think I should become.
However, recently it occurred to me that perhaps I am already exactly who I am supposed to be. The Creator of the universe handcrafted me after all. He wired into me all the gifts and graces, quirks and curiosities I possess. He implanted a love for learning in my heart, but chose not to give me a single ounce of musical talent. He gave me a brain that can design processes from point A to B with ease, but decided not to give me hands that know how to deal with mechanical things…and that’s okay. Just because He didn’t make me to do everything doesn’t mean he didn’t make me to do something. He made me to love Him and love others in the unique way only I can, playing my little part in making this world more reflective of His heavenly kingdom. Here’s the catch though: I can only do that in so much as I am authentically being who I am.
So this year I am resolving to say NO to reinventing myself and YES to being more of the person I truly am. Rather than trying to contort myself to achieve some ever changing picture, I am going to try something different: trusting that the God who made me knew exactly what He was doing.
*I want to allow Him to strip away those parts of myself I have sinfully tried to add on that will never, ever fit me.
*I want to invite Him to reshape those parts I’ve long deferred to others to define.
*I want to let Him call forth those parts I have long hidden in timidity and fear.
To put it simply, I want to be shaped less by my grit and more by His grace from this year forward.
I thought that some of you might be longing for this as well and if so, this is just a little note to say that you are not alone. You too were fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and this world desperately needs you to be who you are. May we find ourselves coming more fully alive in 2021 as we entrust ourselves to the One who dreamt up the very idea of us with great love, care, and delight.
Happy New Year!